I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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