She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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