oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
