Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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