just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
