Don't EVER smell your tampon
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize