The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
