Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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