I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
