He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
