making cat noises will not fix the situation.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
