Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
