They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
