C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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