Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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