Define "chronic" masturbator.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
