wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
