I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm too high and old for this...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
