I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Never joke about your clitoris.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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