There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
