Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
