My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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