Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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