Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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