Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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