I met the friendliest cop last night
I wish I only lived at night.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
