I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
