I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
