I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
