My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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