Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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