college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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