Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
