I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
