He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
