I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
