I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
