go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
