What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
