he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
