Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
