i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
