The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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