I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
