whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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