He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
