Welp...herpes.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
