"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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