She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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