When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
