***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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