if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
