i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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