its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
