My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
