Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i drank out of a bidet.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
