I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
