I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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