its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
