when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
