READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
