I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
