there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Dignity is for republicans.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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