how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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