whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
