She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
